Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Time Has Come...

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether to move to the `burbs or not."


I keep saying that what really did it was the guy puking over the fence into our yard at 2 AM.  But that's really just the symptom of a larger problem - the problem being that there's a lot about our little corner of urban paradise we've been consciously ignoring, and the puke on the lawn just brought things into that much clearer focus. 

So we're packing it all up - the boys, the cats, the dog...all 25 boxes of books, the furniture, the hippie accoutrements, all the kids' STUFF and the rainbow flag and leaving the urban life behind.  Don't forget the sage sticks, honey...I think we're gonna need them.

The house we're going to started out as an unqualified disaster.  My father lived there for 40 years - from 1968 until he died this past February.  He had a hoarding problem (drawers full of empty check boxes, hotel soaps, pencils and post-its), ran an accounting practice from home (drawers full of client files and boxes and boxes of old letterhead), and was a total slob when it came to housekeeping and home maintenance and repair (piles of dust and dirt, ripped up carpeting, holes in the roof, and tree roots growing out of the bathroom cabinets). 

In a lot of ways it's exciting - House as Blank Slate.  But also scary - it's the house I grew up in and as such, there's a lot of uncomfortable baggage.  But we're planning and designing and dreaming and clearing it all (tangible and intangible) out bit by bit.

As I'm the Queen of the List-Makers (my wife reminds me of this frequently)...

Things We'll Miss About the City:
  1. Being able to walk to a dozen different wonderful eating places when we're too lazy or disorganized to cook.
  2. Not being able to walk down the street without seeing someone we know.
  3. Going to the neighborhood bar for drinks, knowing the bartender, and then walking home - no parking hassles, no designated driver needed.
  4. Our cool funky hundred-year-old house.
  5. Drinking coffee on the front porch in the morning and seeing friends and neighbors walking by.
  6. Running to the grocery store and back in five minutes when I'm cooking and realize I haven't checked beforehand to be sure I have everything (Grandma would be ashamed of me).
  7. The wonderful front yard that my wife worked so long and hard on.
  8. Going from driveway to freeway in 45 seconds.
  9. The new paint and new windows we just spent a fortune on.
Things We Definitely Won't Miss About the City

  1. The aforementioned puke on the front lawn.
  2. Crazy f*ckers in our alley at all hours of the day and night.
  3. Loud drunk people coming back to their cars at 2 AM and stopping to talk while leaning on our fence.
  4. No parking.  Anywhere.  Ever.
  5. Trying to manage two adults, two boys, two cats, one dog, and all the assorted things that go along with that in 1000 square feet of space and a tiny yard.
  6. One bathroom.  Four people.  
  7. Police helicopters.
  8. Living in close proximity to two hospitals and a fire station - sirens galore.
  9. Feeling like we're taking our lives in our hands when we cross the street, even in the crosswalks.
  10. Used condoms on the sidewalk.
  11. Having an alley three feet from our bedroom window, with constant traffic of crazy f*ckers, loud trash trucks, and people driving 80 miles an hour.
  12. Not letting the kids play out front unless we're both out there too...and feeling a little uncomfortable even if we are (it's a busy street).
  13. Keeping the cats inside all the time so they don't get squished by people driving 80 miles an hour, or kidnaped by the crazy f*ckers.
Yup, time to move on.  We'll keep you posted...

Suz